2. 9. Positive reinforcement is a powerful tool that can help to encourage and motivate people. We love all of our readers and we want to you to know how much youre appreciated! Reading the Parent Effectiveness Training book, or attending a PET course, will help develop positive and respectful parent-child relationships, and explore alternatives to praise. She reciprocated. As parents, it's important to stay calm and resist the urge to blame our kids or anyone else, really for our emotions. But only emotionally intelligent people understand why. I wouldnt get anxious about it. In this sense, a mentor is a parent that you choose, and the desire for his or her love and approval is as natural as the desire for that of a parents pride. The most important thing is to show your appreciation and gratitude for their words. I think we need to invent another word for that wonderful feeling in our own chest when someone we care for does something they feel proud about and we agree that they should feel proud. About 5 years ago, an ex college girlfriend and I began emailing each other occasionally (not often just once every 2-3 months or so). Someone else's pride in you does not usually translate to pride in yourself. 2. It means that in their eyes you have come a long way from a place you began. 11. In what context. Proud Boys celebrate President Trump's callout to them during debate. But, why does the response "me too" sound natural in response to "I am glad to meet you". Mull over various relaxing options, like meeting up for coffee or tea, and then send along one concrete plan, Manly says. Think of things people have often praised. I have a little brother who is rather insecure and jealous of me, a very controlling person that thinks having a relationship with each other means that I put up with him trying to make me feel less than in the power scheme, which is precisely why I totally avoid him My YOUNGER brother about my creative talents has to say..I am extremely proud of you..for a bit, this has thrown me off, and I was not able to quite articulate how this really got under my skin, why I did a search on the phrase and have been thinking about itand yeah, it does seem a major insult when an emotionally uncool person whose relationship with you should be on equal terms has to act like a parent, always making a show of being the bigger man saying boy, I am so proud of you. 9 Focus on Them When Praising Them PeopleImages / Getty Images 8. Specialized in marketing, with 'communication' as a favorite subject, Ketan P. is a head writer at 'Better Responses'. I know you and I haven't been seeing eye-to-eye lately. Youll feel mad and resentful. ), belonging to my close friend, on her business page. . Get your facts straight. My friends tell me that rather often so like once every month or so, which I think is a lot, if you say it more often you'll take it for granted for sure. . Of course, the child may feel really pleased to hear this positive evaluation of their efforts. Last week, I went back to my college homecoming without my wife. Let them know that you are grateful for their support and that you appreciate their words. She only ever said it once but it has stuck with me forever: Move away from the source of your negative thoughts. Im so glad to hear that. What a surprise! I almost never tell anyone Im proud of them, for exactly this reason. "We will always remember. I thought who gave you the superiority, you seem to be giving yourself for my accomplishment My friend didnt understand. "How long have you been sober?". It's a pleasure to congratulate you on this lovely moment. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. Ive told you that, youre going to feel proud of me. What Does It Mean When Someone Says I'm Proud Of You? Its really a way of saying I am really the one who is special, Im the boss.and what it deserves is not thank you but rather, well kiss my ass you condescending bastard..get a lifethis proud of you nonsense is also related to people who have to say WELL GOOD FOR YOU when doing something mundane..like, someone catches me reading a book in publicoh, you are readingWELL, GOOD FOR YOU!! This is when his feelings go deeper than the surface, and he genuinely cares about you as a person. The Obama campaign needs to walk this one back and pronto. but you do play a role in their success! "If by a "Liberal" they mean someone who looks ahead and not behind, someone who welcomes new ideas without rigid reactions, someone who cares about the welfare of the people-their health, their housing, their schools, their jobs, their civil rights and their civil liberties-someone who believes we can break through the stalemate and suspicions that grip us in our policies abroad, if that is . We are probably trying to encourage our children, and even instil in them a sense of pride in their own achievements. No. Approval is a parent's judgement of a child's choices - and to a child, this feels like a judgement of them as a person. 4. So, if youve achieved something in your educational or professional field, and someone informs you theyre proud of you, it means you did a great job there. This canstop the development of their own, "You look really pleased with your effort". Aw yeah, yeah, yeah. Later, I saw her in a restaurant and apologized for balling her out in public. This mindset will help you achieve your goals, too. stories on the Parent Skills website are posted only as opinion or ideas, and are general in nature. Tell me something else, Ive heard this at home. I am livid because a couple of arrogant, condescending people who had been known briefly, posted, We are so proud and impressed, on a stinking FB page, I do not use FB, etc. But who are you to affirm? If its a long-term relationship, the mentor will genuinely care. That makes you a living miracle. But to be proud of them? Maybe Im mad, because it makes me feel like he thinks I wasnt doing enough before I started back at work- like carrying children inside of my body for nearly two years, plus birthing them, plus never sleeping, plus cleaning for HOURS upon HOURS everyday, plus cooking, plus plus plus wasnt enough to be proud of. Like Im only worth anything just because Im making money? So tell them it feels like you are bothering them. . Here are other litmus tests I've blogged about. And family can often be proud, but as with most things family, the obligation and bias dull the effect. 12. "Im proud of you!" Believe me when I tell you that it is not meant so kindly elsewhere. If this is the case, then of whom is the parent really proud? Use words that will strengthen your relationship. . What are we trying to say or do, when we innocently, and with the best of intentions, praise our children with "Im proud of you"? If youve finally graduated or youre the first one who got an A + in your entire family, your parents express how proud and happy you make them. I have always struggled with this word. 17. Im glad I found this interesting discussion, as I just had a man I am seeing state I am proud of you and it made me feel great, yet at the same time realized that it can come from a position of higher power so I needed to contemplate the relationship. 14. To be sure, "I'm really proud of you buddy" can sometimes occur between friends. Great to hear this. Now whether its romantic or a deep friendship is a different question. With teens and adults, saying "I'm proud of you" is a bit different. You worked so hard, you really deserve that job! Youre the first person who is happy with it. July 7, 2020 April 21, 2018 I am in awe of your talent and accomplishments. http://pbskids.org/rogers/songLyricsImProudOfYou.html. The child has done well enough for the parent to bring out the big guns the proud word. A compliment like this means a lot to us, seeing that we give our people a chance to be happy and proud because of us. Do you mean you are also proud of yourself or that you are proud of the other person? They often tell each other they are proud of one anothers achievements and they all know its genuine. Rather than the child feeling respected for their efforts, they may feel patronised, put-down. One of the most common phrases they use to express their feelings is Im proud of you. How come you didnt come to watch this match? Especially when you get to hear this from your parents, it means theyre happy to see, 43 Motivational Messages For Hard Working Boyfriend, funny excuses to ask for money from your parents, How to tell your parents that you have a girlfriend, 9 Best Answers To How Was Your Interview?, 16 Clever Comebacks When Someone Tells You To Grow Up, 18 Best Responses To Backhanded Compliments On Social Media. Didnt your manager think you were capable of putting such a report together? 1. A Summer Like No Other - Bushfires, Fear, Famly, Hope and Change, Preparing To Say Goodbye Even As I Hug Hello, When I Realised That Being A Parent To An Adult Is Different To Being A Parent Of A Child, Setting Limits Sets Limits On Children Learning to Discipline Themselves, Learning to Take The Back Seat As A Parent, As My Child Moves To Adulthood, Am I Treasuring The Moments? Imperfect, striving, playful, loving, learning. They note your hard work and dedication and remember the person you were before and admire the person you have become. What does it mean when someone tells you that they are proud of you? What does it mean when a woman says she's proud of you? ie you have brought them up as parents and are proud of them for their achievements or manners etc. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. Is the childs achievement actually a reflection of their parents achievement? They may start to see their parent as being insincere, or even manipulative. Gun owners are more likely than non-gun owners to know someone who has been shot (51% vs. 40% of non-owners). They may find it difficult to take pride in who they are and what they have achieved. 7. Its very presumptuous. Use thirty phrases to say "I'm proud of you" to make the special person feel good and empowered. Well, that means theyre impressed, happy, and overjoyed with what you did, achieved, or say something. 4. Stay in the know when we release new content! But some of us never heard the expression in our lives till we were adults. But is that really very useful? I like what Chris Yeh said about the (phrase/declaration), Im proud of you, I think children want simply to be accepted and respected as themselves. Im proud of myself, although saying it out loud doesnt make it better. The administrator takes no responsibility for any action or outcome a reader may make as a result of reading a post. 3. What, do you really? When someone says Im proud of you, they are investing in you and putting themselves out there. Here are seven possible ways to interpret his compliment. . What someone else does might make me proud to be his or her friend/teacher/partner/whatever and thats exactly how Ill express it Im proud to be your fill-in-the-blank. ( Or even what youve done makes me proud to call myself your ____). Based on the situation and who says this, heres a list of better responses to pick. A strong argument is a solid one. 1. If a parent can say, 'I'm proud of you', then can the parent also say the opposite - ' I'm disappointed in you '? ), Partner: "I'm proud of you for landing that job", While you might understand that your partner is being supportive, might you also feel a bit miffed? Try these new and funny excuses to ask for money from your parents or your family. So - does this research negate my concerns regarding the phrase "I'm proud of you"? I have never regarded the word pride as implying that the one feeling it is somehow responsible for it. In these instances, simply saying "Wow" (and meaning it) will let them know you're proud. Compare: "Oh bear!" You: "I have so much to do and not sure how I am going to get it all done.". Its obviously a powerful word. 16. And as it was your friends achievement, oughtnt she be the one who feels proud? Although its worth taking a mental note of that in case a pattern does develop. To try to sum this up, I mrried and ended up in a small, isolated village filled with people who either did not graduate high school or barely achieved that level of schooling. As in, he's purely attracted to your appearance. Similarly, if someone tries to imply a mentor relationship by telling you, Im proud of you, its like a bad parent trying to claim the rights and status of a good one. Thank you so much! I dont think that without your support I can make it. After reading this, I now believe its because I dont look up to him in any way and he doesnt know me so well as to fully appreciate my accomplishment like my family would. Talents Compliments. Now, John may hear "I'm disappointed that this is the same picture. But, the real credit goes to you and you only! Especially when you get to hear this from your parents, it means theyre happy to see you grow up the way they raised you. 15. Id have fallen over from shock if I ever heard it from anyone in my family (& still would!). I was talking about this statement Im Proud of you to a friend.I was annoyed about someone saying they were proud of me who barley knows me. You should always be proud of who you are imo, and if that includes your nationality then that's fine. Her future mother-in-law (my friend) told me later she was proud of me. Instead of these phrases, focus on how proud you are of the person. I think I instinctively recognized that the balance of power had somehow been upset, but couldnt put my finger on it. A friend persevered in getting her masters degree after running into academic trouble as an undergrad. Looking for some extra money from your parents? I was very irritated and angry. By Ben Collins and Brandy Zadrozny. Be proud of who you are. Powered by WordPress. On Wednesday, a Proud Boy leader, Joseph . "Scorned ex-girlfriends are the worst. Why is this such a contentious phrase? Embrace Pride There are positive reasons to listen when someone says they are proud of you. So, how should we respond to Im proud of you? I think the internet and social media have eaten her brain that she would not only allow their @#[emailprotected] clueless comment to remain public, but that she thanked them? He gets a "that's nice". When you respond to Im proud of you with gratitude, youre also taking advantage of the power of positive reinforcement. I do find it odd to say "I'm proud of you for doing the dishes". We had a really nice time. "I'm so proud of you" In this sentence, "proud" being translated to is absolutely right, and is also OK. Thank you so much. All Rights Reserved. I again said. If you're an ex-smoker, you can draw from your own experience of quitting. 26. So you better know in which tone theyre saying so. My boys are all each others fan club and its marvelous. Id opt for saying, Im happy for you. In fact, whenever I hear this phrase from a colleague, I immediately understand that this person in reality is envious of my achievements and the phrase Im really happy for you in fact means Im very unhappy that its not my achievement, that you and not me is getting the praise/ promotion/ degree/ lottery win, I hate you for that and I wish I was in your place right now. She was very rude and grouchy with me and reluctantly corrected her errors after I asked the manager to get involved. Your email address will not be published. I'm so proud of your painting!" "I guess we can't all get Ph.D.'s in science like I did.". 12. For what? Aw yeah, yeah, yeah. (Of course, there are always people who try to suck up to youbut hopefully you can see through it!) It may not display this or other websites correctly. There are alternatives to praise and saying "Im proud of you", and they include: I consciously have to stop myself from saying "Im proud of you". So happy for us! Ah. He may not have been able to think of something better or funny so he settled for that. Pause, take a deep breath, and remember who you really are. The best way to do this is to express your own feelings of appreciation and gratitude for their words. (thanks to TK and Andy for helping think this through.). . Here are some examples of what you shouldn't say to someone on their sober anniversary. No matter who they are, they all have one thing in common they make us feel loved. The other three sound as if you're saying you're proud of yourself too. When you respond to Im proud of you with gratitude, youre reinforcing the positive behavior that you want to see in yourself and others. "), Parent: "Im proud that you got all As in your school report/won that tennis trophy", How might you feel as the child? Let me tell you why. She said yes and then she said she wanted to go with me. And do you really mean that you are damned impressed with your friend for her achievement? If someone calls you out for saying something offensive, remember that your intent can be different than your impact. A person receiving this praise could also feel belittled it could feel as though their achievement was unexpected - a surprise to the other person. I think that the phrase really bothers me, because its like saying, Wow, I didnt think you were good enough to ever achieve -insert whatever here.- My fiance said it to me last night while I was doing the dishes. Youre the most amazing parents and thank you for believing in me. What if you really are proud of the person? Sure, they get angry with one another, as do all brothers, but they forgive and move on. My former partner just recently told me that he was proud of me after major accomplishment. 5. 3. I don't think you . For going back to work when Im still hardly sleeping, due to having an 8 week old at home? you see the work of your close friend and you tell him "I am proud of you". Keep believing in me, I will make you proud more and more. By accepting the compliment and reflecting on your qualities, you may feel more satisfied in life. She says "Good boy. Its more potent because they have seen struggles in their life, and within that perspective, they still acknowledge the effort I have put into the achievement as deserving of recognition. 2. God being what He is, at once moral and all-powerful, the immoral life is doomed to overthrow, whether the immorality consist in grasping rapacity, proud self-aggrandizement, cruel exaction, exulting triumph or senseless idolatry.